In the last three days my parents cried and I hugged my mum and rolled cigarettes and went swimming on the beach in my clothes and sat outside at night looking out over a mountain and watched my mum swear and cried at school because I just had no fucking idea what to do and drank an inhumane amount of tea and found starfish with Abigail and ate chick peas for the first time and watched gilmore girls with my two best friends and hysterically laughed with Tat because otherwise I probably would have screamed and I was scared and sad and then happy and then sad and then just sort of. okay. I'm not used to death. but I suppose we never really are. And today has been one of the happiest days in a really long time. But a sort of bittersweet happy, like you're accepting the sadness and the horrible things because you're ready to push on anyway, because you've got such reason to, because theres so much love behind all of that pain. People come together, over stuff like this. These are the sorts of times when people really need each other.
And I love tenzin, for the beautiful conversation we had over stupid itunes playlists. And I love tully, for her band names that are so terrible you have to hopelessly adore her. And I love charlie, for how shes dealing with so much loss and is battling through anyway, planted in my living room watching dvds. And I love my literature teacher, for being the only person that day to ask if I was okay and really, truly seem to mean it. And I love my dad, even if he can't handle emotion and breaks my heart a little bit. And most of all, I just really fucking love my mum to bits.
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