"I was heading to Nebraska. Now there's a sentence you don't want to say too often if you can possibly help it."

Last night was possibly one of the strangest, most confusing, ridiculous nights of my life. I have never in my wildest antics seen somebody so drunk they proceed to spend several hours talking in a strange, horrible twangy american accent and don't even notice it themselves. Then again, I've also never seen someone simultaneously half naked and vomiting, so there you go, let's chuck a little perspective into the ring. You know whats lovely? I spent several hours hanging out with my mum today. Joking like a couple of rascals, havin a laff and the like. I think it's really nice me and my mum can still hang out with each other after all this time. It's a great relationship to have, a good'un with your rents. On another note, Bill Bryson really is a god;

"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively; that was merely an unintended side effect. ...It is the only sport that incorporates meal breaks. It is the only sport that shares its name with an insect. It is the only sport in which spectators burn as many calories as the players-more if they are moderately restless".